Down In the Unemployment Line

I don't like for anything in life to sneak up on me. I've rarely ever been surprised in my life, and I like to think I see everything coming, which is why the morning of April 16 wasn't quite as world-shattering as it could have been.

Parking was first. I vividly remember the hell that ensued when my co-workers and I got the email that budget cuts needed to be made and our convenient, free, downtown parking was first to go. I knew that was the first red flag. Then, like a scene out of Office Space, people in suits I had never seen before were walking the halls. Investors. We're in trouble now.

My co-workers will tell you that for the past few months I've been a female Tom Smykowski. I speculated for weeks it was coming and Monday morning the email finally came. A big weekly meeting was postponed, because another "meeting" had to take place. Crap. Here we go. Then, my friend who was the most recently hired came to my desk. She had a call to be in a special meeting at 10 a.m. The tears started about here. Then, my phone rang. I didn't even ask questions when the receptionist told me to be at the mandatory meeting at 10 a.m.- I just started crying.

People tried to assure us that this wasn't it, but as a group of us headed to the meeting it was awkwardly silent, and we all just nodded our heads at each other signifying we knew.

I wish I could say I held it together and didn't ugly cry through the entire meeting, but that would be a lie. This was my first "big girl" job and definitely my first time ever losing a job. I don't even think it was the fact I was being laid off, but more the realization that my months of having a hunch it was going down was finally a reality. Then, the thought of all my bills hit me one by one. And finally, the thought of having to pack a box of my stuff and leave all my friends who were being told as we were laid off that cuts had to be made and we were those cuts.

I find great peace and humor knowing that once my computer was unlocked and some of my co-workers accessed my email, they saw that my final email laughed. They laughed because I knew that after the meeting my computer would be locked up, so my final email included my portfolio, resume and other personal documents that I sent to myself.

Being laid off is an emotional roller coaster. At first I was sad. Then, happy to be free. Then, you get that last paycheck and turned down for the first job you thought you had in the bag and you're just bitter. But each day gets a little better, and luckily, I have a large network of fabulous friends and family who have forwarded on a lot of good leads. I've also found I'm much less reserved when it comes to reaching out to people I don't know just to network.

I know something bigger and better is out there waiting for me. I just have to find it. Until then, I'll camp out in coffee shops with free wi-fi and follow-up on job leads. If you have any, send them my way!

Gratefully yours, K